so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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