We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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