I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
