she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Randomize
