Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize