I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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