marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I look better un-naked...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
