Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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