were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize