He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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