I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
