whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
