Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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