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no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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