mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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