so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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