i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
should my penis look like a turkey
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
