What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
A+ Viking dick
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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