He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she peed on how many people?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
