PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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