chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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