is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
