I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Even my vagina gasped.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
