Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We just shotgunned beers for America
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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