I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
