I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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