Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
