What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
