i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
