You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
