Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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