david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
