I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
be right there i have to get my cape
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize