We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
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I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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