just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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