Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
