It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
