Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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