Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
