I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
