i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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