i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
