whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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