Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
