Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
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She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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