chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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