You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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