I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
