Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
