You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
