Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
