These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
