And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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