i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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