What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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