i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
