dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
