when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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