question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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