its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
