all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
