At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
