at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
