If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize