New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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