I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
