i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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