ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
are you so shy because you have an std?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
