Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
