Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
